Insecurity stagnates growth and productivity and stops us from really maximizing our impact. To reach our full potential we must learn to fight back.
Insecurity is an issue that affects so many people. But a pivotal question remains, can insecurity be cured? And if yes, how?
That’s exactly what you’ll learn after reading this article.
And you’ll even discover the cost of insecurity and why you need to take control. But, before we go any further, let’s uncover what exactly insecurity is.
Nothing will hold you back more than self-doubt and insecurity.
What Exactly Is Insecurity?
Insecurity is self-doubt, uncertainty about yourself, or the lack of confidence. It’s what causes you to always second guess yourself.
However, the peculiar thing about insecurity is that it can also occur in persons who are renowned for their accomplishments.
In fact, even persons with the biggest personalities may have the deepest insecurities.
So, without further introduction, let’s jump in with a discussion on whether or not insecurity can be cured.
Is There A Cure For Insecurity or self-doubt?
The simple answer is no. I don’t believe that insecurity is like a virus that can be cured and never affect us again.
In fact, I would compare it more to a chronic disease, that, with the correct treatment plan and strategies can be managed – even to the point that it seems nonexistent.
But, if we let our guards down, it’ll definitely rear its ugly head again.
Essentially, although there is no cure to make self-doubt go away forever, we can definitely learn to manage this monster.
However, it’s imperative that we try to unlock what exactly insecure behavior is and analyze the causes of insecurity and self-doubt.
Insecurity may not have a cure. But, be inspired because there are still numerous ways for you to regain your self-confidence.
What Are Examples Of Insecurity?
There are several ways that you may manifest insecure behavior. Regardless, a lot depends on the area of your life that you are insecure about.
Additionally, it’s very common to be insecure about several things at any given moment. Further, one specific insecure trait can be exhibited in various spheres of your life at the same time.
On the other hand, some individuals are very great at hiding or masking their feelings of self-doubt.
Others, in an attempt to not admit that they are insecure- may even attribute their behavior or feelings to something else.
However, this ‘avoidance’ is just a temporary remedy and is definitely not a cure for insecurity or self-doubt.
Although you should not take a one-size-fits-all approach, here are some of the main examples of insecure behavior:
- Low self-esteem
- Constant doubting yourself and your abilities
- Avoidance of confrontation
- Overly dependent on praise, promotion and approval from external sources
- Comparison, condemnation and competition
- Mental health conditions
such as depression, paranoia or anxiety, uncontrollable anger and frustration
Essentially, persons who are insecure have challenges to make up their mind. They find it hard to believe in their decisions. As such, they are constantly second guessing themselves.
Notably, some individuals tend to manifest their insecurities and self-doubt by being overly judgmental and by actively pointing out the flaws and errors of others.
This is done in an effort to make the insecure person feel good about themselves or to try to distract others from their own perceived short-comings.
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” – Steve Furtick
Can Insecurity Be Normal?
Don’t get me wrong, it’s quite normal to feel insecure and doubtful sometimes. Actually, I’m sure even the most confident person goes through their bouts of insecurity.
Additionally, no one is good at everything. As such, it’s quite normal to feel insecure when it comes to certain things or activities.
However, you definitely shouldn’t feel insecure most of the time or when it comes to most activities or areas of your life.
What Causes Insecurity or Self-doubt?
Insecurity may be caused by a change in life circumstances or a crisis, such as a job loss, medical diagnosis, relationship status, being constantly surrounded by toxic people and even cultural biases.
The truth is, we process our lived experiences in different ways. As a result, to determine the source of your insecurity you need to assess what you internalize and analyze what makes you feel powerless.
I look at my daughters and are amazed at how fearless they are. I admire how much they believe in themselves. In fact, most children don’t worry about what others think. Well, at least when they are very young.
Often, it may be hard to say exactly what causes self doubt or when exactly it starts. However, some persons can remember the exact situation or words that someone said that initiated or intensified their insecurity.
However, one think I do believe is that we were not born insecure.
Discovering The Cause Of Your Insecurity
Here are a few questions that I think you should ask yourself if you’d really like to discover the potential cause-or sources-of your insecurity:
Who and what are you exposed to?
Firstly, to determine the cause of insecurity start by considering if you are surrounding yourself with things and people that bring you down or lift you up.
Remember, energy is contagious so analyze if you are constantly exposed to positive or negative energy.
Are there persons in your life who are constantly pointing out your errors? Take the time to identify what their objectives are and assess how you process their remarks.
"Fear is an idea-crippling, experience-crushing, success-stalling inhibitor inflicted only by yourself." -Stephanie Melish
What do you think of your family situation?
Next, to determine the cause of insecurity it’s important to consider your family situation. Our early years are arguably the most influential of our lives.
As such, for a lot of persons, their insecurities may stem from childhood.
These insecurities may be a consequent of their relationship with parents, other family members and/or peers. Were you constantly compared with others? What parts of your childhood did you wish you could’ve changed?
Were you exposed to physical, verbal or emotion abuse? Were your parents overly involved or especially critical?
It’s important to answer these questions and really assess how the experiences from your children continue to influence your thought process.
Why do you think others judge you?
The reason we believe persons are judging us is often linked to our insecurities. Notably, this can be a physical feature, your educational or professional skills, financial attributes etc.
Also, judging others may be a reflection of your own insecurity. It’s a way to focus on someone else, instead of yourself.
What is your self worth tied to?
Many persons believe that most or even all of their value is tied up in one area of their lives. Maybe it’s their profession, relationship or physical attributes.
However, this may be an attempt to deflect by diverting their attention away from their insecurities.
Unfortunately, if that area becomes threatened or lost, it easily becomes very challenging to cope. If you’re really trying to determine the cause of your insecurity, this is something you need to consider.
What is your biggest failure in life?
Finally, to determine the cause your insecurity, ask yourself these questions. why are you most disappointed with yourself? Or, why do you believe others are disappointed in you?
Failure, especially at something you really wanted to be good at, something you were working very hard to accomplish, can be a source of insecurity.
You may be even more vulnerable if you initially had a lower self-esteem to begin with.
Fortunately, however, once you realize that insecurity is often at the root of our underachievement, you can take active steps to fight against the power that it has on your lives.
If there Is No Cure, How Do I Deal With Insecurity and Self-doubt?
Trying to hide your insecurities isn’t a cure for insecure behavior. In fact, if you do this, you’ll never learn to really accept yourself for who you are.
To start dealing insecurity, you need to identify when it is happening and what caused the insecurity in this first place.
Here are the steps you should follow to deal insecurity and self-doubt:
- Identify the reasons that you are excessively judging yourself.
- Discover who you are.
- Embrace religion.
- Be conscious of social influence.
- Choose to address your fears and limitations.
- Get professional help.
“Sometimes our thoughts are backed by so much insecurity, that they create lies we believe.” Uknown.
1.Identify The Reasons For Excessively Judging Yourself to deal with insecurity
Explore the reasons why you feel that you and/or your ideas may not be good enough. Try to analyze why you are overly concerned about what people think of you.
Further, identify what spheres of your life are most affected by your insecurities.
2.Discover Who You Are To Deal With Insecurity
Learn to embrace your flaws-especially the ones that you can do absolutely nothing about. We all have them anyways.
Fall in love with the things that make you unique. Additionally, get trusted feedback and look at your previous performance and accomplishments.
Then, try shifting your focus to all your good qualities. Have a true, strong belief in who are you and who you can be.
Never let someone else’s opinion determine your value. Accept and embrace yourself as you are, but continually work on self-development.
3.Embrace religion to deal with insecurity
Religion can play a significant role in dealing with insecurities. It helps to provide reassurance and comfort.
In fact, according to the ’insecurity theory,’ greater insecurity positively associates with greater religiosity.
According to research, persons use their religion to compensate for the tension and apprehension that result from their insecurities (Immerzeel & Van Tubergen, 2013).
4. Examine social influence to deal with security
Be careful who you choose to associate with.
Undeniably, your social relationships will influence your attitude and behavior. In fact, difficult relationships, degrading comments and even social media can negatively impact your self-esteem.
Unfortunately, it’s quite easy to feel inferior when you surround yourself with so many images and persons that are seemingly much better than you.
Consequently, try actively avoiding situations that make your insecurity worse. Be mindful of your social media interactions, and of consciously and unconsciously comparing yourself to others.
5.Choose To Address Your Fears to deal with insecurity
Work on identifying all your fears and limitations. Then, think objectively. A lot of these ‘short-comings’ may just be in your own mind.
Truthfully, we are often our own biggest critic. It’s all too easy to overanalyze and misinterpret.
Actively work on improving any area of your life that you can. In addition, start respecting the boundaries you set for yourself.
Actually, while you’re actively working on improving yourself, your confidence will grow. As such, keep speaking positive affirmations.
Build yourself up so that you are confident in who you are, despite what others say or believe. Learn to shift your focus, and when not to take things personally.
Moreover, realize that ultimately, you are responsible for your own feelings.
6.Professional help to deal with insecurity
Even though psychotherapy and coaching won’t provide a cure for insecurity, they can greatly help you manage, particularly it your insecurity is a cause or consequence of a mental health condition.
Don’t ignore the role that professional help has on developing positive coping skills.
“Stop allowing your own insecurities to color the way you interpret someone else’s intention” - Unknown
How Does Insecurity Affect Your Mental Health?
Sometimes, insecurities are linked to personality disorder, depression, and anxiety. It may also lead to substance abuse and eating disorders.
Recent studies have shown that narcissists are driven by a sense of insecurity and not by an inflated ego. The narcissists behavior is in fact a coping mechanism to deal with insecurity (Palmieri & Conte, 2021).
Notably, some studies also show that there is a positive correlation between insecurity and jealousy in men, and a positive link between insecurity and low self-esteem in both men and women (Mathes & Severa, 1981).
What Is The Cost Of Insecurity?
That’s a question that you have to answer for yourself. Even though insecurity can not be cured, you can rest assured that the cost is often quite high. Because of insecurity, many persons lack the confidence to pursue their dreams.
How many things are you not doing because of these feelings of self-doubt? How much is it limiting your personal and professional life? Is it making you reject leadership responsibilities?
Additionally, it’s important to analyze the influence that your insecurity and self-doubt has on others. Is it causing you to excessively blame and judge others?
Are you putting additional pressure on others to make yourself feel validated?
Final words on can insecurity be cured
You just received a great overview and now understand if insecurity can be cured. You now know the steps you need to take to deal with insecurity.
And, while this information will go a long way, people who’re serious about insecurity will want to take it to the next level ASAP.
I have a feeling you’re one of those people. And, that’s why I suggest you start implementing these tips ASAP. The benefits of overcoming your insecurities are unimaginable.
Get started, remain self-disciplined and see them manifest in your life. You’ll be surprised and delighted by what you’ll accomplish!
How have insecurity and self-doubt affected your life? Let me know in the comments below.
“A man’s spirit is free, but his pride binds him with chains of suffocation in a prison of his own insecurities.” - Jeremy Aldana
How To Build Self-Confidence?
Self-confidence is a very powerful skill that can greatly boost your self-esteem. It is one of the most important traits to possess in order to succeed.
Thankfully, you can learn and perfect self-confidence. Initiate by finding ways to improve yourself and your health.
Additionally, work on your outlook and start pursuing your passions. Further, practice mindfulness and positive affirmations. Fake it till you make it and practice, practice, practice. Read more
Insecurity vs Imposter Syndrome
Although there are lots of similarities between insecurity and imposter syndrome, they are not exactly the same.
Imposter syndrome is feeling like a fraud, or that you don’t belong. It’s a sense of unworthiness. Commitment phobia, performance anxiety and focus on perfection are often associated with this feeling.
Conversely, insecurity is the feeling that you’re not good enough. As such, imposter syndrome usually motivates you to do better, reject opportunity and competition whereas insecurity may cause self-pity, bullying or narcissism.
Immerzeel, T., & Van Tubergen, F. (2013). Religion as Reassurance? Testing the Insecurity Theory in 26 European Countries. European Sociological Review, 29(2), 359-372. Retrieved April 30, 2021.
Mathes EW. & Severa N. (1981) Jealousy, Romantic Love, and Liking: Theoretical Considerations and Preliminary Scale Development. Psychological Reports. 1981;49(1):23: 31.
Palmieri, H & Conte, E (Mar, 2021) Narcissism Driven by Insecurity, Not Grandiose Sense of Self, New Psychology Research Shows.