Regret is a powerful emotion that can be paralyzing and destructive. But it doesn’t have to be. By understanding the root causes of regret, you can take steps to prevent it from holding you back in life.

We’ve all been there. That moment of regret, when we realize we made a mistake and it’s too late to go back. Whether it’s something small, like saying something hurtful that we can’t take back, or something big, like making a life-changing decision that we now regret, the feeling is always the same – paralyzing and overwhelming. In fact, it can seem impossible to overcome regret. But luckily, it’s not.

In this post, I’ll discuss how to overcome regret and move on with your life. I’ll also share tips for preventing regret from happening in the first place.

So read on if you’re ready to move on and put your past behind. Let’s get started.

Click here if you’re wondering what the biggest regrets in life are? 

Steps to overcoming regret

Regret is a negative feeling that occurs when a person believes they could have made a better decision.

Often, it involves wishing something had happened differently in the past, while also recognizing one’s limits and abilities. 

Unfortunately, regret can lead to depression. But, it doesn’t have to if you understand how to handle it properly.

"Guilt, regret... and all forms of non-forgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." - Ekhart Tolle

Here are 5 steps that will help you overcome this mental stumbling block: 

Step 1: Realize that regret is not a fact

Step 2: Accept that you can’t change the past

Step 3: Learn to overcome the past

Step 4: Make better decisions in the future

Step 5: Avoid self-defeating thoughts

1. Realize that regret is not a fact to overcome it

Recognize that regret is a feeling and not a fact. Regret comes from the past, but it doesn’t define your future.

If you have been struggling to move forward from something in the past, ask yourself if there are benefits to staying stuck. 

Have growth or positive changes occurred as a result of the event you are regretting?

2. Accept that you can’t change the past to overcome regret

To overcome regret, you must realize that you can only change today and your future possibilities.  

View what happened in the past within its context, with all available information, including things that may shed light on choices made at the time.

Be reassured that it’s only human to make mistakes. 

Don’t let hindsight bias color your perceptions. Also, understand that you may not be the only one to blame. 

3. Learn from the past to overcome regret

What can you learn from the past to help you better understand yourself?  Be mindful of self-defeating beliefs and negative assumptions that may have been made without adequate data.

Question if it is possible that you made a choice based on being unaware of other factors present at the time.

4. Do better in the future to overcome regret

Think about what new choices can be made today to change your future?  Prioritize new goals and consider how it will benefit you.

Take action.  It’s important to know that making the best use of new opportunities will minimize regrets, particularly those due to action. As much as possible, find ways to do better. 

Also, using this emotion to help others who will likely make the same mistake in the future will help you overcome this emotional battle. 

5. Avoid self-defeating thoughts to overcome regrets

Be aware of self-defeating thoughts that may hold you back from doing something new. Start by focusing on small achievable actions, as this builds momentum for bigger ones later.

"Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn't know before you learned it." - Maya Angelou

Now, let’s identify some tips to help prevent regret in the first place.

Simple tips to prevent regrets

According to statistics, people who do not procrastinate report significantly less regrets when it relates to educational and financial goals, interactions with parenting, family and friends and health and wellness. 

However, this study didn’t show any significant difference between non procrastinators and chronic procrastinators when it relates to romance, self-improvement and career planning (Joseph et al., 2009). 

Even if you’re not ready to stop procrastinating, here are some simple tips to prevent regret from happening in the first place:

• Identify negative emotions without judgement.
• Evaluate your faults and virtues – correcting faults; focusing on virtues.
• Understand how you can lessen regret in the future.
• Do not consistently compare yourself to others (e.g., social media accounts).
• Avoid self-blame. 
• Try to avoid repeating past mistakes.
• Do not continue to hold grudges against people or events that cannot change.
• Remind yourself how you responded positively in the past.
• Identify the valuable lessons you learned from your mistakes.
• Focus on what you can do in the future to prevent similar events or outcomes.
• If you need to, just apologize – even if it’s years later. A meaningful apology can heal many wounds.

Read also: 4 Powerful steps to finally overcome self-blame

Finals words on overcoming regret

Most people experience regret at some point in their lives. It can be a painful emotion, and it’s often difficult to move on from it.

However, there are ways to overcome regret and move on with your life.

Regret is a powerful emotion that can keep you stuck in the past and prevent you from moving forward.

However, by understanding the cognitive factors that contribute to regret, you can learn to overcome it.  

What are some of the ways you’ve overcome regret in your own life? Let me know in the comments below. 

Related topics

How to break toxic habits?

Are you struggling to break a toxic habit? Are you feeling frustrated and stuck? If so, you’re not alone.

Thousands of people every day are trying to break unhealthy habits. 

But, how can you overcome these patterns and create lasting change in your life? In this blog post, we’ll explore some tips for breaking toxic habits. Read more

"Guilt is the best demon to bear, strangling you from the inside of your body. Apologize, Make amends, Let go, Breathe free." - Nikita Gill

What do people regret the most and why?

Most of us have regrets in life. Whether it is something small, like eating too much ice cream, or something more significant, like not taking a chance on a new opportunity, we all wish we could go back and do things differently. 

In today’s blog post, we’ll take a look at some of the most common regrets people have, and why they regret them.

We’ll also explore what you can do to prevent regret from holding you back in the future.

So if you’re curious about what people regret the most, read on.

Reference

Saffrey C, Summerville A, Roese NJ. Praise for regret: People value regret above other negative emotions. Motiv Emot. 2008 Mar;32(1):46-54.