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First 5 years in Canada: Hidden Struggles & Lessons Learnt
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Oct 20, 2024
My 6-Step Transformative Wellness Guide 'En Route To Wellness' Is Available for FREE. Check it out here: subscribepage.io/3CRE9t Join me as I share the raw and honest story of my migration journey from Guyana to Canada. Five years ago, I made the bold decision to leave everything behind—my country, my home, and my career as a doctor. Despite securing Canadian Permanent Residency, the transition turned out to be far tougher than I ever anticipated. In this video, I’ll take you through the highs and lows of my experience, including the profound sense of loss and the challenges to my self-esteem that came with starting anew. I’ll discuss how it felt to navigate feelings of failure while striving to build a new life for my family. Whether you’re considering a big life change or simply curious about the immigrant experience, this video is packed with valuable lessons I wish I knew before making the leap. Let's explore the realities of migration, the strength it takes to persevere, and the unexpected blessings that come from embracing change. If you've ever felt the weight of starting over, you're not alone. Hit that subscribe button and join me on this journey! It's time to take control of your health journey! 💪🌟 [Disclaimer: The information provided in this video is for educational purposes only and should not replace professional medical advice.] I'm Rushana, I have a Medical Degree and a Master's in Public Health. But more importantly, I have an unwavering desire to help you live a healthier, more fulfilled life. And guess what? You're probably only a few simple solutions away! Subscribe to follow along and I'll help you find them. As promised, here are the links to the products mentioned in the video:
View Video Transcript
0:00
Five years ago, I decided to start over
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I left my country, my house, my job as a doctor, sold my cars, packed up my family
0:16
and migrated from Guyana to Canada. And despite instantly becoming unemployed and practically homeless
0:23
I had a plan and the highly coveted Canadian permanent residency. But I'll be the first to admit that it has been one hell of a journey, so much so that sometimes when people asked, why did you decide to migrate, I found myself fumbling for words
0:42
You know what? I anticipated that the transition would be tough, but it was still so much harder than I expected
0:49
No one could have prepared me for the deep sense of loss that I experienced. The fact that this transition absolutely crudely
0:57
crushed my self-esteem and self-worth. The fact that I was utterly disappointed
1:02
despite trying my best. You see, I had been a high achiever my entire life
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but for the first time, I felt like an utter failure. Every day became a relentless
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silent battle with myself. And you know what made it even worse
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The fact that I had made this decision myself, I felt like I simply couldn't complain
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No one told me to mind. no one told me to remain here. I had no one to blame. And by no means am I saying that Canada is
1:35
all bad or that overall I regretted my decision. If I pause and think about it, I'm really
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proud of everything I've achieved so far. The journey has been incredibly challenging, yet deeply
1:48
enriching. But it did take significant faith, work, sweat, and tears. It took self-awareness
1:56
strength and stamina. And I'm not even exaggerating. Looking back, there are some things I wish I knew
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before migrating. This video is for anyone who is making a significant life change, anyone who has
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decided to start over. Here are the lessons I wish I knew. The journey will be harder than
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anticipated. I know I alluded to this in my elaborate introduction, but allow me to provide a little
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more context. Before I continue, I'll be the first to admit that some of these challenges were
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absolutely my own fault. I guess I was very naive and uninformed. I couldn't imagine that there
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was this alternate world where it would take months to find a place to rent, despite me offering
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to pay rent for months in advance. It took us a whole five months to get a place to rent. By that time
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we had already stayed in four different locations. I guess what made it seem is, you know
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even more overwhelming was the fact that it wasn't just one thing that we were struggling with
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It was lots of different challenges, lots of changes that we were navigating all at once
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For instance, it also seemed impossible to get a job, despite sending out hundreds of applications
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What made my heart sink even more was that I couldn't even get volunteer opportunities
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Those of us who belong to regulated professions such as doctors and nurses face an even more don't in reality
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We're either disqualified, overqualified, or inexperienced. I remember asking to volunteer at the community health center
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At this point, even if they had allowed me to open the door for the patients to come in, I would have been happy
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But of course, they said no. And that was when my heart truly sang
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Imagine these people didn't even want me to work for free. that was a very devastating thought. Rejection after rejection. I really started to question my word
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It took me eight months to get my first full-time job. Looking back, here's the lesson I learned
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When faced with rejection and disappointment, we have two distinct options. We can choose to become
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victims to argue and complain, or we could choose to press forward, to upscale, and to become better
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Though I had moments when I embraced the former, I'm grateful I found that
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the strength to always move forward. Keep going, guys. Don't let disappointments or failures define you
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Realize that your skills may be different, but not inferior. And here's a little secret
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Sometimes the people who reject you don't have the grit or talent that you possess. Don't let them define your work
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You're capable of so much more than they can see. Believe in your infinite potential. Your only limitations are those you set
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upon yourself, Roy T. Bennett. Adopt a new identity. Let's break this down because it's crucial to stay true to yourself
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Being authentically you is the most powerful version of yourself. You mustn't change your values or compromise who you are at your core
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Instead, think of it as adopting a new mindset, overcoming your limiting beliefs, maximizing
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your strengths, and conquering your weaknesses. For instance, I could still be kind and honest
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But I couldn't be as timid as I was. I couldn't be so afraid to ask for help or too shy to speak highly of myself
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I couldn't let the fear of rejection hold me back. I needed to step into situations with assertiveness and self-assurance
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especially if I wanted to achieve more in a shorter period of time
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I needed to step out of my comfort zone. But here's the catch
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Adopting a new identity requires introspection. You really need to know yourself
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your habits, your touch, your beliefs. This process demands a deep dive into your own psyche confronting both your strengths and weaknesses head on Oh this new identity won happen overnight
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It takes time, but if you're intentional, you'll keep making changes that will compound over time
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Recently, someone told me that they admired how confident I am. I was both shocked and proud because I had been deliberately working on becoming more confident for years
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I realized that my lack of confidence was the number one thing that was holding me back
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Everyone would always describe me as being very, very shy. And I am still very shy, especially in certain situations and circumstances
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But I made me realize that I can be both shy and confident
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It doesn't have to be one or the other. It showed me the depth and complexity of my character
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This moment also taught me that the image that we project to others can evolve over time
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Being seen as confident doesn't erase my shyness, rather it highlights my growth and ability to adapt
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It is an important reminder that we have the power to shape how others perceive us while staying true to our multifaceted selves
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I want you to know that if you're intentional, you can transform, you can reinvent yourself
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You can change the way the world sees you. Oh, and remember, you're a person, not your job title
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Keep working on who you are as a person more than who you are as a professional
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Keep investing in yourself more than you invest in your job. Nothing will go as planned
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I started planning years before I migrated. I completed my master's degree in public health, thinking it would help me get a job
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I researched complex job opportunities, review the best places to live. Yet, I ended up in a career I didn't even know existed and still haven't settled on where I want to live long
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term. I guess it's true what they see. God laughs when he sees our plans. This doesn't mean that there's
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no value in having a plan, but I want you to remain flexible and realize that sometimes things may
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actually turn out better than planned. I want to encourage you to dream big, to always have something
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you're working towards. If I could go back in time, I would tell myself, Roshana, relax. It is going
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to be okay. Don't be defined by disappointment and failure. your lessons and keep going. I would tell myself to find beauty in the journey instead of constantly
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focusing on the destination. I would have a plan to actually enjoy the days when I didn't have a job
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instead of worrying so much. I would realize that those failed interviews were preparing me
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for even bigger opportunities. Those rejection emails were building my grit. I would embrace the
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unexpected, realizing that most things are entirely out of my control. I would acknowledge that things will
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change eventually. Often when we least expect them to. I would stop placing such strict timelines
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on my dreams. I would allow myself the freedom to fail, to grow, to adapt, and to change my mind
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I would take time to appreciate my progress, no matter how small, and celebrate each step forward
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I would remind myself that every setback is just a setup for a comeback and that resilience
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is built through perseverance. I would seek out new experience. and embrace the learning opportunities that come with them
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I would connect with others who have walked similar paths, learning from their stories, and gaining strength from their support
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I would understand that success is not a straight line, but a series of twists and turns
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each one contributing to my growth and shaping my journey. Above all, I would remind myself to be kind and patient with myself
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to practice self-compassion, and to take comfort in the fact that I am doing my best
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I would trust that everything will fall into place in its own time
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and that the journey with all its ups and downs is what truly makes life rich and meaningful
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Network, network, network. I am still not great at this whole networking thing
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but I can say with all certainty that it is incredibly powerful
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When I first came to Canada, I could count the number of people I knew on one hand
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and they weren't even very close relatives. Honestly, I wasn't actively networking
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because I was too shy and I didn't initially see its value, especially since I hardly knew anyone
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Well, let me tell you about the apartment I secured after five months. It was thanks to networking
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And that first full-time job I landed after those long eight months, networking played a crucial role there too
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though I didn't even realize I was networking. I think some of us viewed networking as being pushy or only reaching out to people for personal gain
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but it should be viewed more as an opportunity to build relationships. and to share your aspirations
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Remember, no man is an island. You do not need to pretend to have it all
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Don't underestimate the power of networking. You never know where those connections might lead
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or how they might enrich your journey. Good people still exist. There's this age-old debate about whether humans are inherently good or bad
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Some scholars argue that humans are naturally selfish and driven by self-preservation
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Others believe that humans are inherently good, but are corrupted by society. Then there's the argument that humans have the
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capacity for both good and evil, and moral behavior is a choice guided by reason and ethical
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principles. What are your thoughts on this? Do you think humans are inherently good or bad
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Let me know in the comments. Personally, I was pleasantly surprised by the assistance I received
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from people I barely knew or didn't even know at all. Many people went out of their way to help me
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to encourage me and even pray for me. I didn't even have to ask
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They were happy to lend a hand And each and every act no matter how small fully meant a lot to me This made me realize that you don have to have a lot or give a lot to make a difference
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Sometimes the smallest gestures can have the biggest impact, especially when someone is in a vulnerable state
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This has even encouraged me to pay forward, to look for opportunities to be generous
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We don't have to wait until our situation is perfect or until we have an abundance to share
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There's a quote that I love, no act of kindness, no matter how small is ever wasted
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You are never starting from scratch. I have to admit that I felt that it was on fear to have to start my career back from scratch
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Well, at least until I realized that we're never really starting from scratch
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This shift in perspective is crucial for moving away from a victim mentality
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Every experience, skill, connection you've accumulated over the years, adds to your foundation
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Even when it seems like you're starting on you, you're actually bringing a wealth of knowledge and expertise with you
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You are never starting from scratch. The Sun-Cost policy is a trap that can keep us stuck in situations that no longer serve us
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Just because we don't want to admit that our past efforts are no longer beneficial
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this cognitive bias can hinder our progress and growth. Research shows that humans are prone to irration
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rational decision-making, often influenced by or desire to avoid losses, rather than achieve gains
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Ask yourself this question, are you focused on avoiding losses or achieving gains
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Realizing that you are never starting from scratch, but rather building on a solid foundation of experience
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will free you from this trap. Recognize that your past efforts are never wasted, that they have prepared you for new opportunities
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and challenges. As Steve Jobs once said, you can't connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect
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them looking backwards. Make decisions based on your current goals instead of being tattered to past
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investments. This perspective not only liberates you from unproductive commitments, but also empowers
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you to leverage your accumulated wisdom and skills. As you move forward, remember that every step you've taken
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has added to the robust, unique foundation upon which you now stand
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You're never starting from scratch. You're starting from experience. Be clear on why you're making the change
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Let me break it to you. When you're making a significant life change
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you are going to face a lot of challenges. And you know what happens next
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You will start to look back at the past situation that you're trying to leave behind
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and only remember the good times. You may even gloss over the reasons why you wanted to make a change in the first place
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Identify everything toxic or suboptimal that you are walking away from. And please, write it down if possible
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Remember I mentioned when people asked me why I decided to migrate, I was sometimes unable to give them an answer
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And this is what I realized. Change is challenging, especially in the initial stages
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Because of this, we have the tendency to look back and remember, on the life we left it behind
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On the previous versions of ourselves, we look back at it with rose-colored lenses
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I would even look back and reminisce about aspects of my life that, honestly, I didn't even
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really like in the first place. So when making a significant life change
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reflect on the aspects of your previous situation that were unfulfilling and problematic
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Acknowledge the challenges and frustrations that pushed you to seek something different
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This clarity will not only reinforce your decision, but will motivate you to stay committed to your new path
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even when it gets tough. Lower expectations and avoid comparisons. Pastor Steve Furthick said it best
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The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes
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with everyone else's highlight real. This quote resonates deeply with me because I too have fallen
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into this track. There were moments during my transition when I saw my friends advancing in their careers
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and personal lives and I felt even more unfulfilled. It was hard enough to feel left behind or
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inadequate when their successes seemed to highlight my own perceived shortcomings. But I had to remind
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myself that everyone's journey is different. While it might seem like others are moving forward
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seamlessly. I don't see the challenges and struggles they face. Similarly, my own path is filled with experiences and growth that aren't always visible to others
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Are you guilty of comparing your worst days with someone else's victories
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Stop being distracted by the success of others, but definitely learn from their strategies if possible
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Take time to celebrate your achievement and victories. Be proud of yourself. Compete
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only with yourself. And realize that if you want to take someone else's achievements
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you need to take their struggles and insecurities as well. Be careful who you take advice from
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As I said before, everyone's journey is different. My daughters and husband who migrated with me
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may give you a completely different interpretation of their journey. Before you make a transition
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people will inevitably share their thoughts and opinions. But remember, these perspectives are sharing
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by their unique experiences, values, and circumstances. While it valuable to listen and consider different viewpoints you need to filter the advice you receive Ultimately the decisions you make should be guided by your own values goals and intuition I received
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different advice from people and sometimes I felt conflicted to heed that advice. But ultimately
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my decisions need to be guided by who I am as a person right now and not who I was before. It has
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to be based on my current priorities and my intuition. And sometimes the decision I end up making
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just doesn't make sense to anyone else. And it doesn't have to. I have chosen to embrace new
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opportunities and pursue other things that give me joy and fulfillment, even if it means having
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less immediate financial gain. People will question your decisions. You will sometimes
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question your own decisions. You need to feel proud of everything you've achieved
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all the effort you're making, regardless of how it looks to others
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You need to prioritize yourself and your happiness, even if it means temporarily scaling back in certain areas for a specific reason
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Hindsight is 2020, so remember that you made those decisions and mistakes with the information
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and resources you had at the moment. You did the best you could with what you knew at that time
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Parenting is twice as hard. Finally, I found parenting to be so much harder when I moved to Canada, especially in those
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first few years. This was mostly because I no longer had my village to help me
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My children were very young when we moved, and daycare was not only extremely expensive
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but also took several months to secure a spot. At one point, my husband and I had to take turns working because we did have daycare
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and there was no one to leave the kids with even for five minutes
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We had to show up more to give them love and attention because there was no longer a lot of people around them
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Adding in the harsh weather conditions and living in smaller spaces made the experience even more overwhelming
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This was a challenge that I didn't quite anticipate. I can assure you that you won't be able to predict all the challenges that you will face
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But I want you to give yourself more grace and space to adapt
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I want you to be more open to forming a new community. I want you to embrace the fact that everything does change
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even challenging situations. Focus on the positives of your current situation. Don't meet a person that wallows in self-pity
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Well, at least not for too long. Focus on all the benefits of your current situation
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and the factors that are actually within your control. Life will never be perfect
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But the one skill that you must learn is the ability to find silver linings and to make the best out of any circumstance
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Never lose your ambition to be a better person. Your drive to win in life
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Winning isn't everything, but wanting to win is Vince Lombardi. Every day, wake up with the intention to win, even if it seems impossible
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It gets better with time. Adjusting to change takes time and effort
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But if you're willing to adapt and putting the work, things do get better over time
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The thing is, though, you can't predict that timing. You have no idea when things will change for the better
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But you can increase your chances of success by increasing your surface area of luck
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So how do you do that? How do you get luckier? You become luckier by working on your skills, by putting yourself out there
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by letting others see your talents and vision, by creating more opportunities for yourself
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by paying closer attention so that you can notice the opportunities around you
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and by acting on those opportunities as quickly as possible. Grace to change
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Your ambition and mindset will evolve over time, and you need to be okay with that
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If I had made this video after my first few months or even my first year here
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the advice would have been completely different. I was in the thick of my challenge
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then, and my perspective was shaped by the immediate difficulties of adjusting to a new country
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shifting dynamics, and navigating unfamiliar systems. Over time, my outlook has changed and will continue
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to change. The advice I offer now reflects the lessons I've learned through those experiences
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It's more balanced and acknowledges that while the journey is tough, it's also filled with
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opportunities for growth and connection. And I know that in a few more years, my perspective
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might shift again. Life is dynamic and as our circumstances change, so do our insights and recommendations
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So if you're in a difficult phase right now, remember what seems insurmountable today
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might be the source of your strength tomorrow. And in the years to come, you might find yourself
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sharing a completely different set of advice based on the wisdom you've gained along the way
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Embrace the journey and allow yourself the grace to grow on the freedom
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to evolve. I have given myself permission to change my opinions and my decisions whenever I want
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with good reason, of course. In the interest of time, I'll have to end this video right here
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Leave a heart if you made it all the way to the end of this long video, or let me know which one
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of these tips resonates the most with you. What are your best tips for anyone starting over in life
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Let me know in the comments. As I said, this is just my experience and advice. Take it
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with a grain of salt
#Self-Help & Motivational