“Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will.”
suzy kassem
Personally, the fear of failure has been one of the most significant roadblocks in my life. This fear has caused me to miss or reject countless opportunities. It often left me paralyzed with indecision, ultimately preventing me from moving forward.
But you know what the worst part is?
It is that I only realized I had this intense fear of failure a few months ago. Until then, I never labeled my refusal to pursue an opportunity as fear.
I always had another, more ‘elaborate’ excuse—perhaps claiming I didn’t have enough time or that I would do it later, or any other justification I made myself believe.
Recently, I was having a conversation with my husband because there was something that I wanted to do but I kept putting it off for months, perhaps even years.
And he said, “Rushana, why are you so afraid of failing? It’s not a big deal” I felt attacked so of course I got defensive, “I said, ” I am not afraid of failure, the timing isn’t right. You of all persons should know how busy I am”
But once I took a deep, hard look at myself, I had to admit that I was simply afraid of failing. I had been afraid of failure my whole life. I was just labeling it as something else. I was making excuses.
A lot of times I found myself hesitant to try new things, especially if it’s something that’s optional. I am that person who always needed a plan for success. I would deliberately avoid the things that I’m not good at, well at least until I absolutely did not have a choice.
Let me ask you this question. Has the fear of failure ever held you back? Think about a specific opportunity that you’ve missed or turned down. Were your reasons for not pursuing them truly valid, or were they excuses masking a deeper fear?
Now, take a moment to think about the opportunities before you now. That test you’re delaying, the interview you’re avoiding, the project you keep pushing off, that bad habit that you need to give up—what’s stopping you?
Is it really a lack of time or resources, or is it because of your deep rooted fear of failure?
Let’s start labeling fear for what it is.
Acknowledging my fear of failure was a pivotal moment for me because it allowed me to confront my limiting beliefs and negative self-talk.
You see, many of us perceive failure as a threat to our self-esteem and identity. We believe it will reveal our incompetence, and that this perceived incompetence in one area may even be linked to our overall self-worth. We fear that failing at a task means we are failures as individuals.
Let me tell you this: If you are constantly waiting for the perfect opportunity, you are holding yourself back from experiencing growth and learning.
You will never have the perfect opportunity, the timing may never be right, and things may not go as planned. Yet, there is still so much purpose and meaning in taking that leap of faith, in believing in yourself, in embracing the unknown.
Have you ever heard the statement that fear is self-fulfilling?
Well, the self-fulfilling prophecy is this psychological phenomenon where your belief or expectation, whether positive or negative, will influence your behavior in such a way that it ultimately confirms that belief.
In the context of fear, if you are so consumed by your fear of failure, you will often unknowingly engage in behaviors that perpetuate that fear and ultimately lead to the very outcome that you feared.
For instance, if you are afraid of public speaking you will likely avoid opportunities to speak in front of others, thereby reinforcing their fear and never giving yourself the chance to overcome it.
Essentially, it creates this vicious cycle of avoidance and self-sabotage that hinders your personal and professional growth.
Plus, when fear and self-doubt cloud our actions, others may pick up on these cues and respond accordingly, further reinforcing our negative beliefs about ourselves.
The good news is that just as fear can be self-fulfilling, so too can courage and resilience. By challenging our fears, taking calculated risks, and embracing failure as a natural part of the journey, we can rewrite the script of our lives and create outcomes that defy our initial expectations.
While fear may be a natural response to uncertainty and change, it doesn’t have to dictate our actions or define our future. Don’t let fear kill your dreams!
Failure isn’t finite!
I started reframing failure as an opportunity for growth rather than a reflection of my worth or abilities. I embraced the idea that setbacks were not indicators of permanent defeat but rather stepping stones on the path to success. This shift in mindset liberated me from the paralyzing grip of fear and empowered me to take risks, try new things, and pursue my goals with renewed determination.
While overcoming the fear of failure is an ongoing journey, I’ve learned that it’s okay to feel afraid. What’s important is how we choose to respond to that fear. By acknowledging it, confronting it, and pushing past it, we can unlock our full potential and achieve extraordinary things beyond our wildest dreams.
Don’t let fear kill your dreams!
