Five years ago, I decided to start over. I left my country, my house, my job as a doctor, sold my cars, packed my family up and migrated from Guyana to Canada.
And despite instantly becoming unemployed and practically homeless, I had a plan and the highly coveted Canadian Permanent residency.
But, I’ll be the first to admit that it has been one hell of a journey. So much so that sometimes when people asked, why did you decide to migrate, I found myself fumbling for words.
You know what, I anticipated that the transition would be tough. But, it was still so much harder than I expected.
No one could have prepared me for the deep sense of loss I experienced, the fact that this transition absolutely crushed my self-esteem and self-worth. The fact that I was utterly disappointed despite trying my best.
You see, I had been a high achiever my entire life. But, for the first time, I felt like an utter failure. Every day became a relentless, silent battle with myself.
And you know what made it worse? The fact that I made this decision myself. I felt like I simply couldn’t complain. No one told me to migrate. No one told me to remain here. I had no one to blame.
And by no means am I saying that Canada is all bad, or that overall I regretted the decision.
If I pause and think about it, I’m really proud of everything I’ve achieved so far. The journey has been incredibly challenging yet deeply enriching.
But it did take significant faith, work, sweat and tears. It took self-awareness, strength and stamina – and I’m not even exaggerating. Looking back, there are some things I wish I knew before migrating.
This video is for anyone who is making a significant life change, anyone who has decided to start over. Here are the lessons I wish I knew.
Lessons Learnt After Migrating To Canada
(1) Starting over after migration will be harder than anticipated
I know I alluded to this in my elaborate introduction but allow me to provide a little more context.
Before I continue, I’ll be the first to admit that some of these challenges were absolutely my own fault. I guess I was very naive and uninformed.
I couldn’t imagine that there was this alternate world where it would take months to find a place to rent despite me offering to pay rent for months in advance.
It took us a whole five months to get a place to rent. By that time, we had stayed in 4 different locations.
I guess what made it seem even more overwhelming was the fact that it wasn’t just this one thing that we were struggling with.
It was lots of different challenges, lots of changes that we were navigating all at once.
For instance, it also seemed impossible to get a job despite sending out hundreds of applications.
What made my heart sink even more was that I couldn’t even get volunteer opportunities.
Those of us who belong to regulated professions, such as doctors or nurses, face an even more daunting reality. We’re either disqualified, overqualified or inexperienced.
I remember asking to volunteer at the community health center.
At this point, even if they had allowed me to open up the door for the patients, I would have been happy. But of course, they said no.
And that’s when my heart truly sank, “Imagine these people didn’t even want me to help for free.” That was a devastating thought.
Rejection after rejection, I really started to question my worth. It took me eight months to get my first full time job.
Looking back, here’s the lesson I’ve learned: When faced with rejection and disappointment, we have two distinct options.
We can choose to become victims, to argue and complain, or we could choose to press forward, to upskill, and to become better.
Though I had moments when I embraced the former, I’m grateful I found the strength to always move forward. Keep going, guys.
Don’t let disappointments or failures define you. Realize that your skills may be different but not inferior.
Here’s a little secret: Sometimes the people who reject you don’t even have half the grit and talent you possess.
Don’t let them define your worth. You are capable of more than they can see.
“Believe in your infinite potential. Your only limitations are those you set upon yourself.”
Roy T Bennett
(2) After migration you should adopt a new identity.
Let’s break this down, because it’s crucial to stay true to yourself. Being authentically you is the most powerful version of yourself.
You mustn’t change your values or compromise who you are at your core. Instead, think of it as adopting a new mindset—overcoming your limiting beliefs, maximizing your strengths, and conquering your weaknesses.
For instance, I could still be kind and honest, but I couldn’t be as timid as I was. I couldn’t be afraid to ask for help or too shy to speak highly of myself. I couldn’t let the fear of rejection hold me back.
I needed to step into situations with assertiveness and self-assurance, especially if I wanted to achieve more in a shorter period of time. I needed to step out of my comfort zone.
But here’s the catch: adopting a new identity requires introspection. You really need to understand yourself—your habits, thoughts, and beliefs.
This process demands a deep dive into your own psyche, confronting both your strengths and weaknesses head-on.
Oh, this new identity won’t happen overnight. It takes time. But if you’re intentional, you’ll keep making changes that will compound over time.
Recently, someone told me they admired how confident I am. I was both shocked and proud because I have been deliberately working on becoming more confident for years.
I realized that my lack of confidence was the number one thing that was holding me back. Everyone would always describe me as being very shy.
And I still am very shy – especially in certain situations and circumstances. But that made me realize that I can be both shy and confident.
It showed me the depth and complexity of my character.
This moment also taught me that the image we project to others can evolve over time.
Being seen as confident doesn’t erase my shyness; rather, it highlights my growth and ability to adapt.
It’s a powerful reminder that we have the power to shape how others perceive us while staying true to our multifaceted selves.
I want you to know that, if you’re intentional, you can transform, you can reinvent yourself, you can change the way the world sees you.
Oh, and remember, you’re a person, not just your job title.
Keep working on who you are as a person more than who you are as a professional. Keep investing in yourself more than you invest in your job.
(3) Nothing will go as planned after migration
I started planning years before I migrated. I completed my master’s degree in Public Health, thinking it would help me get a job.
I researched countless job opportunities and reviewed the best places to live. Yet, I ended up in a career I didn’t even know existed and still haven’t settled on where I want to live.
I guess it’s true what they say, “God laughs when he sees our plans.”
This doesn’t mean there is no value in having a plan. But I want you to remain flexible and realize that sometimes things may actually turn out better than planned.
I want to encourage you to dream big. Always have something you’re working toward.
If I could go back in time, I would tell myself, “Rushana, relax. You’re going to be okay.” Don’t be defined by failure and disappointment.
Learn your lessons and keep going. I would tell myself to find more beauty in the journey, instead of constantly focusing on the destination.
I would make a plan to actually enjoy the days when I didn’t have a job – instead of worrying so much.
I would realize that those failed interviews were preparing me for even bigger opportunities. Those rejection emails were building my grit.
I would embrace the unexpected, realizing that most things are entirely out of my control.
I would acknowledge that things will change eventually, often when we least expect them to. I would stop placing such strict timelines on my dreams.
I would allow myself the freedom to fail, to grow, to adapt, to change my mind.
I would take time to appreciate my progress, no matter how small, and celebrate each step forward.
I would remind myself that every setback is just a setup for a comeback and that resilience is built through perseverance.
I would seek out new experiences and embrace the learning opportunities that come with them.
I would connect with others who have walked similar paths, learning from their stories and gaining strength from their support.
I would understand that success is not a straight line but a series of twists and turns, each one contributing to my growth and shaping my journey.
Above all, I would remind myself to be kind and patient with myself, to practice self-compassion and to take comfort in the fact that I am doing my best.
I would trust that everything will fall in place in its own time and that the journey, with all its ups and downs, is what truly makes life rich and meaningful.
(4) Network, Network, Network to succeed after migration
I am still not great at this whole networking thing, but I can say with certainty that it is incredibly powerful.
When I first came to Canada, I could count the number of people I knew on one hand, and they weren’t even close relatives.
Honestly, I wasn’t actively networking because I was too shy and didn’t initially see its value, especially since I hardly knew anyone.
But let me tell you about that apartment I secured after 5 months—it was thanks to networking.
And that first full-time job I landed after those long 8 months? Networking played a crucial role there too, though I didn’t even realize I was networking.
I think some of us view networking as being pushy or only reaching out to people for personal gain.
But it should be viewed more as an opportunity to build relationships and share your aspirations. Remember, no man is an island. You do not need to pretend to have it all.
Don’t underestimate the power of networking. You never know where those connections might lead or how they might enrich your journey.
(5) Good people still exist
There’s this age old debate about whether humans are inherently good or bad. Some scholars argue that humans are naturally selfish and driven by self-preservation.
Others believe that humans are inherently good but are corrupted by society.
Then there is the argument that humans have the capacity for both good and evil, and moral behavior is a choice guided by reason and ethical principles.
What are your thoughts on this? Do you think humans are inherently good or bad?
Let me know in the comments. Personally, I was pleasantly surprised by the assistance I received from people I barely knew or didn’t know at all.
Many people went out of their way to help me, encourage me, and even pray for me.
I didn’t even have to ask—they were happy to lend a hand. And each and every act truly meant so much to me.
This also made me realize that you don’t have to have a lot or give a lot to make a difference.
Sometimes, the smallest gestures can have the biggest impact especially when someone is in a vulnerable state.
This has even encouraged me to pay it forward, to look for opportunities to be generous.
We don’t have to wait until our situation is perfect or until we have an abundance to share.
There’s a quote that I love, “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”
Aesop
(6) You’re never starting from scratch
I have to admit that I felt as if it was unfair to have to start my career back from scratch.
Well at least until I realized that we’re never really starting from scratch. This shift in perspective is crucial for moving away from a victim mentality.
Every experience, skill, and connection you’ve accumulated over the years adds to your foundation.
Even when it seems like you’re starting anew, you’re actually bringing a wealth of knowledge and expertise with you. You are never starting from scratch.
The sunk-cost fallacy is a trap that can keep us stuck in situations that no longer serve us, just because we don’t want to admit that our past efforts are no longer beneficial.
This cognitive bias can hinder our progress and growth.
Research shows that humans are prone to irrational decision-making, often influenced by the desire to avoid losses rather than achieve gains.
Ask yourself this question, are you focused on avoiding losses or achieving gains?
Realizing that you’re never starting from scratch, but rather building on a solid foundation of experience, will free you from this trap.
Recognize that your past efforts are never wasted; they have prepared you for new opportunities and challenges.
As Steve Jobs once said, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards.”
Make decisions based on your current goals instead of being tethered to past investments.
This perspective not only liberates you from unproductive commitments but also empowers you to leverage your accumulated wisdom and skills.
As you move forward, remember that every step you’ve taken has added to the robust and unique foundation upon which you now stand.
You’re never starting from scratch; you’re starting from experience.
The sunk-cost-fallacy is a trap that can keep us stuck in situations that no longer serve us, just because we don’t want to admit that our past efforts are no longer beneficial.
Realizing that you’re never starting from scratch, but rather building on a solid foundation of experience will free you from this trap.
(7) Be clear on why you’re making the change before migrating
When you’re making a change, you are going to face lots of challenges.
And you know what will happen next?
You will start to look back at your past situation, the very thing you’re trying to leave behind, and only remember the good times.
You may even gloss over the reasons why you wanted to make a change in the first place.
So I want you to make some time today to get crystal clear on why you’re making the change. Identify everything toxic or suboptimal that you are walking away from. Write it down if possible.
Remember, I mentioned that when people asked me why I decided to migrate, I was sometimes unable to give them an answer.
And this is what I realized. Change is challenging, especially in the initial stages.
Because of this we have a tendency to look back and reminisce of the life we left behind, on the previous versions of ourselves. We look back at it with rose colored lenses.
I would even look back and reminisce about aspects of my life that honestly I didn’t even really like.
So when making a significant life change, reflect on the aspects of your previous situation that were unfulfilling or problematic.
Acknowledge the challenges and frustrations that pushed you to seek something different.
This clarity will not only reinforce your decision but also motivate you to stay committed to your new path, even when it gets tough.
(8) Lower expectations, avoid comparisons to succeed after migration
Pastor Steve Furtick said it best “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
This quote resonates deeply with me because I, too, have fallen into this trap.
There were moments during my transition when I saw my friends advancing in their careers and personal lives, and I felt even more unfulfilled.
It was hard not to feel left behind or inadequate when their successes seemed to highlight my own perceived shortcomings.
But I had to remind myself that everyone’s journey is different. While it may seem like others are moving forward seamlessly, I don’t see the challenges and struggles they face.
Similarly, my own path is filled with experiences and growth that aren’t always visible to others.
Are you guilty of comparing your worst days with someone else’s victories?
Stop being distracted by other people’s victory but definitely learn from their strategies if possible.
Take time to celebrate your achievement and victories. Be proud of yourself. Compete only with yourself.
And realize that if you want to have someone’s achievements, you need to take their struggles and insecurities as well.
(9) Be careful who you take advice from when starting over
Everyone’s journey is different. My daughters and husband who migrated with me, may give you a completely different interpretation of their journey.
Before you make a transition, people will inevitably share their thoughts and opinions.
But remember, these perspectives are shaped by their unique experiences, values, and circumstances.
While it’s valuable to listen and consider different viewpoints, you need to filter the advice you receive.
Ultimately, the decisions you make should be guided by your own values, goals, and intuition.
I’ve received different advice from people, and sometimes I felt conflicted to heed that advice.
But ultimately, my decisions need to be guided by who I am as a person right now and not who I was before. It has to be based on my current priorities and my intuition.
And sometimes the decision I end up making just doesn’t make sense to anyone else. And it doesn’t have to.
I have chosen to embrace new opportunities and pursue other things that give me joy and fulfillment – even if it means having less immediate financial gain.
People will question your decisions. You will sometimes question your own decisions. Like why am I taking so much time and energy to make these videos and create content.
I don’t make any money from them and people hardly watch anyway. I could be investing this time into furthering my career.
You need to feel proud of everything you’ve achieved, all the effort you’re making, regardless of how it looks to others.
Although it’s important to appreciate who you are as a profession, you need to love who you are as a person even more.
You need to prioritize yourself and your happiness – even if it means temporarily scaling back in certain areas for a specific season.
Hindsight is 20/20, so remember that you made those decisions and mistakes with the information and resources you had at the moment.
You did the best you could with what you knew at the time.
(10) Parenting is twice as hard after migrating
Personally, I found parenting to be so much harder when I moved to Canada—especially in the first few years. This was mostly because I no longer had my village to help me.
My children were very young when we moved, and daycare was not only extremely expensive but also took several months to secure a spot.
At one point, my husband and I had to take turns working because we didn’t have daycare and there was no one to leave the kids with even for five minutes.
We had to show up more to give them love and attention because they no longer had a lot of people around them.
Adding in the harsh weather conditions and living in smaller spaces made the experience even more overwhelming.
This was a challenge that I didn’t quite anticipate. I can assure you that you won’t be able to predict all the challenges that you will face.
But I want you to give yourself more grace and space to adapt. I want you to be more open to forming a new community.
I want you to embrace the fact that everything does change – even challenging situations.
(11) Focus on the positives of your current situation after migrating
Don’t be that person that wallows in self-pity, well at least not for too long.
Focus on all the benefits of your current situation and the factors that are actually within your control.
Life will never be perfect but one vital skill that we must learn is the ability to find silver linings and make the best out of any circumstance.
Never lose your ambition to be a better person, your drive to win in life.
“Winning isn’t everything, but wanting to win is.”
Vince Lombardi
Everyday, wake up with the intention to win – even if it seems impossible.
(12) It gets better with time
Adjusting to change takes time and effort. But if you’re willing to adapt and put in the work, things will get better with time.
The thing is though, you can’t predict that timing. You have no idea when things will change for the better. But you can increase your chance of success by increasing your surface area of luck.
So how do you do that? How do you get luckier?
You become luckier by working on your skills, by putting yourself out there, by letting others see your talents and vision,
by creating more opportunities for yourself, by paying closer attention so you can notice the opportunities around you and by acting on opportunities as quickly as possible.
(13) Grace to Change when starting over
Your ambition and mindset will evolve over time, and you need to be okay with that.
If I had made this video after my first few months or even my first year here, the advice would have been very different.
I was in the thick of the challenges then, and my perspective was shaped by the immediate difficulties of adjusting to a new country, shifting dynamics, and navigating unfamiliar systems.
Over time, my outlook has changed and will continue to change. The advice I offer now reflects the lessons learned through these experiences.
It’s more balanced and acknowledges that while the journey is tough, it’s also filled with opportunities for growth and connection.
And I know that in a few more years, my perspective might shift again. Life is dynamic, and as our circumstances change, so do our insights and recommendations.
So, if you’re in a difficult phase right now, remember what seems insurmountable today might be the source of your strength tomorrow.
And in the years to come, you might find yourself sharing a completely different set of advice based on the wisdom you’ve gained along the way.
Embrace the journey and allow yourself the grace to grow and the freedom to evolve.
I have given myself permission to change my opinions and my decisions whenever I want – with good reason of course.
In the interest of time, I’ll have to end this video right here. Leave a heart if you made it to the end of this long video or let me know which one of these tips resonates the most with you.
What are your best tips for anyone starting over in life, let me know in the comments below.
As I said, this is just my experience and advice. Take it with a grain of salt.
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