Relationship management the foundation for success in any industry. But how do you build relationship management?

Relationship management is one of the core components of emotional intelligence. When we discuss the topic of emotional intelligence, more often than not we neglect relationship management and assume people already know how to manage their relationships.

That’s a mistake because relationship management something you can and should learn more about.

In fact, you need to become skilled at managing your relationships if you want to improve your emotional intelligence as well as your success in life.

When dealing with people’s emotions, developing the art of relationship management is fundamental.

Actually, approaching conflict with emotional intelligence, creates the possibility of developing effective interpersonal skills (Morrison, 2008).

So, what is relationship management?

You manage your relationships the same way you manage a business or any other venture.

You handle it with care and you constantly work on building constructive interactions.

In short, you focus on what makes your relationships more effective and rewarding for everyone involved.

When done right, it benefits both of you – the initiator and the other party.

"Personal relationships are the fertile soil from which all advancement, all success, all achievement in real life grows." - Ben Stein

What are the types of relationship management?

Types of relationship management include:

(1) Cooperative – you both want the same thing and cooperate to make it happen.

For example, two friends going out for dinner together.

(2) Competitive – this is where one party wants something and the other doesn’t.

A good example is a work-place conflict or a situation that requires negotiation tactics.

(3) Partnership – this describes a relationship where the individuals are working together to achieve different goals.

The key point here is that they’re both committed to building their bond by being honest and supporting each other.

A mentor-mentee type of relationship is a good example!

Why is relationship management important?

We all have different personalities so our perspectives are bound to be unique. This means that not everyone will agree with you or share the same opinions as you.

The ability to manage relationships effectively is important because it allows us to maintain healthy, productive interactions with others despite our differences.

When we fail to understand other people’s views, then they become the enemy – an object that is conspiring against us. This might result in conflict and tension, which can be counter-productive.

On the other hand, when we consider their perspective – empathize with them and respect their views without compromising our own beliefs, then we can resolve conflicts and disagreements in a healthy way.

How can I improve relationship management skills?

Relationship management skills are the ability to adjust your interactions with others in order to meet specific goals. What do I mean by this?

First of all, you need to define what kind of relationship you wish to establish with the other party. It can be a friendship or it could be something more professional – like an employer-employee type of relationship.

Second, you need to define the specific goals of your relationship. Are you trying to maintain or strengthen that particular bond? Is there something you want from them?

Once you’ve established what kind of relationship you have with this person and what it is that you want – develop an action plan for how to go about it! Of course, always bear in mind the other party’s perspective.

In any given relationship, there are bound to be conflicts. If you can’t resolve them then your interactions with that person will become stressful and counter-productive.

In order to manage a conflict, you need to find out what it is that you want from that particular conflict or confrontation.

"There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up." - John Andres Holmes

Tips to improve relationship management skills

1. Learn how to let go.
2. Accept the fact that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Flaws and disagreements are normal and healthy for any type of bond – even if it’s between two people.
3. Maintain and explore your personal interests and hobbies.
4. Choose who you spend time with carefully . Your friends can have a huge impact on your life and the choices that you make.
5. Set boundaries. Think of what makes you comfortable and how to communicate it in a respectful way.
6. Improve your communication skills – both verbal and nonverbal.
7. Learn what you can from each relationship, even if they don’t turn out the way you want them to.
8. Ask for advice – you’d be surprised how much knowledge different people have to share.
9. Be happy with yourself. Treat yourself well, take care of your physical and mental health, maintain a positive attitude towards life’s challenges instead of dwelling on them. If your relationships are good then everything else will fall into place.
10. Get enough sleep.
11. Spend some time apart. Having a break from them can help reduce any feelings of being overwhelmed by the relationship and allow both of you to take a step back and reevaluate where you’re going as a couple. This is perfect if there are problems that could cause tension or disagreements.
12. Don’t be afraid to speak up.
13. Think positively. This is very important because spending time with someone who’s always pessimistic will be mentally draining for both of you. Spend time with people who appreciate the good things in life and won’t take the easy road – the road paved with negativity.
14. Take your time to make decisions. Don’t rush anything. Even if you feel like you’ve known this person for a long time, you should always act with caution.
15. Be yourself at all times, especially during the initial stages of the relationship. People can tell when someone is faking it and they’re unlikely to stick around if they notice something is wrong.
16. Listen to advice and feedback. This way you can grow as a person and improve upon your relationship skills. After all, nobody’s perfect and it’s always good to learn from the experiences of others.
17. Be open to change – not everyone is looking for the same things in life.
18. Take each moment as it comes. Don’t let your emotions build up if you don’t have to – they’ll only overwhelm you and make you act irrationally, which will most likely ruin the relationship.

Understand your own emotions and thoughts

Even though this seems obvious, it needs to be said. If you can’t manage your emotions and understand your thoughts, there’s no way you’ll become good at managing and building relationships.

You need to start by becoming aware of your own thoughts and emotions, then you can focus on understanding the other party’s perspective as well as their intentions. 

Notably, one way to improve your perspective and mental clarity is to practice mindfulness meditation.

When practicing mindfulness meditation, you allow yourself a few moments of silence in order to relax your mind. It sounds easy but it’s really difficult to silence the constant chatter of thoughts in your head.

You can read more about mindfulness meditation here: 12 Spiritual tips for self-care to boost your health.

However, understanding other people’s perspective goes hand in hand with empathy.

On one hand, you need to be open to the idea of learning more about how they feel and think in order to improve your relationship with them.

On the other hand, if you want them to learn about you and understand your point of view then you’ve got to practice mindful interactions with them.

Read also: 10 Reasons why controlling your emotions and remaining calm are important

"One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody everything every night before going to bed." - Bernard Baruch

What are the steps to overcome relationship conflicts at work?

There are several steps you can take when dealing with conflict at work.

It’s important to differentiate between these two types of disputes because the solution will vary depending on whether or not it’s a personality conflict or workplace conflict.

Tips for overcoming relationship management conflicts at work:

• Confront the situation head-on and address it immediately. Don’t let things fester because this will only make matters worse and create an uncomfortable atmosphere around you.
• Keep a cool head and try to remain rational at all times. Arguing is not going to improve the situation, so avoid getting defensive or resorting to name-calling or physical aggression.
• If there’s a serious problem, then you need to try and resolve it in a mature way by approaching the person privately and directly so that they can understand where you’re coming from.
• Try to empathize with their perspective – imagine how it feels being on their side of the argument. This will allow you to put yourself in their shoes and understand why they might be behaving the way they are.
• If there’s a personality conflict, then it might be necessary to reach out for external help. This could involve speaking with your manager or HR department who can offer guidance on how to resolve this type of problem.
• Workplace conflict is typically related to a specific issue or incident that needs to be resolved immediately. This could include dealing with bullying behavior, theft, harassment, etc.
• Develop an action plan for how you’re going to deal with this and stick to it.
• Keep yourself calm and focused so that you can think straight and not lose control of your emotions.
• Try to remain professional and don’t take it too personally as this can cause you to lose perspective on the issue at hand.
• Re-evaluate the situation once things have cooled down a bit. This will prevent problems from escalating in the future or create additional issues that you’ll need to address.
• If you’re unsure about what to do, then ask yourself: “What would an unbiased third-party do in this situation?” This will give you a different perspective and help you see the problem from multiple angles.
• If necessary, reevaluate the nature of your relationship again in order to find out if there are any underlying conflicts or tensions that need to be addressed.

"Even the Lone Ranger didn't do it alone." - Harvey MacKay

Ways of using relationship management to improve emotional intelligence as a leader:

• As a leader, be willing to listen to all opinions equally and give everyone a chance to have their voices heard.
• When giving negative feedback, connect it back with how this behavior will hinder one’s ability to succeed in the organization. [Not “You’re an idiot.” Rather, “If you continue to do this, it might be hard for you to reach your goals.”]
• If you’re in a leadership role, make sure everyone has the information they need to do their jobs well. [If someone is struggling with something, sit down and take the time to help them understand what will help them get better.]
• Rather than focusing on what’s wrong with others, focus on how you can help them do better next time. [This is known as “the sandwich method.”]
• Don’t lord your power over anyone; make sure everyone understands they are equal in the workplace and that includes you too.
• Finally, find something unique about every person that you work with and focus on that. [You want to find personal things you can connect with people on, not just business.]

Read also: Leadership pitfalls to avoid at all cost

Final words on improving relationship management

It’s always beneficial to keep the lines of communication open and resolve disputes in a healthy way without causing resentment or creating unnecessary tension.

The principles of relationship management I’ve talked about throughout this series are foundational to success in any field.

By understanding and applying these concepts, you can create successful relationships with customers, clients, coworkers, and family.

As always, thanks for reading!

Related topics

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After all, it is emotion that allows us to interact with other people, and it is the ability to effectively manage emotions which allows us to lead successful lives.

So how can we improve our emotional intelligence? Read more

"Teamwork is connected independence." - David Cottrell

What are the benefits of emotional intelligence?

In the business world, it is often said that “emotionally intelligent people are successful.”

But what does that mean? And why is emotional intelligence so important?

This article will explore the benefits of emotional intelligence and reveal why it is such an asset in your personal and professional life. Read more

References:

MORRISON, J. (2008), The relationship between emotional intelligence competencies and preferred conflict-handling styles. Journal of Nursing Management, 16: 974-983.